The socialists are coming, the socialists are coming!

This just in: Socialists are trying to take over the town of Cornelius and the United Nations will soon try to take over Lubbock, Texas.

Terrifying, we know. But remain calm. The Cornelius town commissioners and an elected official in Lubbock have your back.

Here's the deal: A group of socialists, cleverly disguised as the Centralina Council of Governments, are hatching a nefarious plot. They want Cornelius to -- gasp! -- join a regional partnership to look at planning and growth. They cling to this crazy notion that the fates of the towns in the Charlotte-Mecklenburg region are intertwined, and that Cornelius and others can't effectively address all their challenges alone.

But they couldn't sneak past Cornelius Mayor Pro Tem Lynette Rinker. Rinker sniffed it out before the town commissioners voted. "It really is an insidious, creeping, socialist agenda couched in apple pie," she said. "This is our one chance to stand up and say, 'no, not here.'"

Rinker linked the effort to UN Agenda 21, a global United Nations plan for sustainability, Corneliusnews.net reported. The United States got duped into signing on to that plan -- along with 178 other countries -- in 1992.

Thank goodness Cornelius has Rinker. Alerted to the plot, the town board voted unanimously not to participate. That oughta keep the socialists out. It remains to be seen whether it can keep out the growth and all the attendant traffic, environmental, housing and other pressures that come with it.

Meanwhile, a similar eagle-eye is protecting the good people of Lubbock, Texas, the Huffington Post reports. Tom Head, a county judge there, warned that President Obama in a second term will give American sovereignty to the UN, leading to UN troops rolling into Lubbock and inciting civil war.

“He's going to try to hand over the sovereignty of the United States to the U.N., and what is going to happen when that happens?” Head asked. “I'm thinking the worst. Civil unrest, civil disobedience, civil war maybe. And we're not just talking a few riots here and demonstrations, we're talking Lexington, Concord, take up arms and get rid of the guy."

"Now what's going to happen if we do that, if the public decides to do that? He's going to send in U.N. troops. I don't want 'em in Lubbock County. OK. So I'm going to stand in front of their armored personnel carrier and say, 'You're not coming in here,'" the judge said.

Because of this impending invasion, Head argued for a property tax hike to prepare the local authorities to defend the town from a foreign invasion instigated by Obama.

Paging Joe McCarthy! Paging Joe McCarthy!

-- Taylor Batten

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