Dont forget them too

There are cases of childhood cancers where mom and dad gather around and hold hands and take their child back and forth. Its a horrible time as parents are afraid their young child will die. Parents should never see their child suffer through chemotherapy and die before them.

There are cases of cancer of older adults - over 40 - who account for the vast majority of cancer cases in the US. The are the expected age group to get cancer and are screened and tested for it through mammograms, colonoscopies and PSA tests.

Then there are the cancer cases in young adults, 19 to 39. The group who are likely to have little or no medical coverage, less likely to go to the doctor regularly but still get cancer. Cancers that are often discovered late because of the less frequent medical visits. They also feel too old to get their primary support from their parents and look to their friends for support.

Its only in recent years that young adults have been noticed in the cancer community. In the past, they were offered the support groups and other resources that were 'for old people' and told to go about their lives after being blasted with a crisis that basically shakes up everything and causes a lot of trauma in their lives.

There is one great organization that focuses on this 'lost' generation - that is i2y. But now there is another group called Focus Under 40.

I call them the lost generation because if you are between 19 and 39 and have cancer, you are young and dreaming of your life and making a career. You are starting on the road of life and it just turned into a roller coaster that only stops at the oncologist's office. We should not forget this lost generation who are coping with cancer as well.

I know because I was one. I had cancer the first time at 19. The doctors said I should go about my life. There was no support. This is one area where we need to focus our efforts to support these young people. I am very glad to see these two groups and hope there are more to come.

We should not forget them

You have read this article stress / support / young cancer patients with the title stress. You can bookmark this page URL https://ogbcommunity.blogspot.com/2010/11/dont-forget-them-too.html. Thanks!

What is the new normal?

After cancer, they tell you that you will have to reach a new normal, you aren't going back to the way you were. What was normal for you before is not going to be normal any more. You body has been subjected to one or more surgeries. Maybe some radiation and chemotherapy. You may have less energy than before too.

Your stress level went through the roof. You are now living in the land of 'what if it comes back'. Which is a little stressful in itself. You have many more doctor appointments that before and each one has its accompanying stress pull. For the past three years, I have had more than 60 appointments each year.

Physically you are not the same either. You probably have a new hair style as your hair grows out of its chemo-cut. Weight gain is not that unusual either. New aches and pains are not uncommon as chemo has some fun side effects. And the surgical scars...

You are trying to balance all the advice and suggestions. Eat healthier. Eat lots of plants. Eat soy, no don't eat soy, eat soy, no don't. You try to exercise more. You cut out all the things you like - alcohol, chocolate, dessert, fast food. All are steps to prevent the r-word (recurrence) - you are doing everything you can to prevent it - but is that enough? Is anything enough?

So what is the new normal? I'm not entirely sure. First I need to add that in my case, I have had several other medical issues of the non-malignant kind since the end of my cancer treatment - gall bladder surgery, bad back, ugly thyroid ultrasound, touch of lymphedema, etc. My back is an ever worsening adventure which has no cure, just lots of pain. Also, my husband had his own fun little cancer adventure last winter which added to my stress level.

However, somehow over recent months I feel my life has settled down to a level where I can cope for the most part. It helps that now I seem to go to the doctor once or twice a month instead of once or twice a month. It may be partly due to the medication I am on but I'm okay with that. If the medication is what it takes to reach a new normal, I can deal. Does it mean I need to take it for a long time? Possibly. But I also take back and thyroid medication for life. A friend of mine phrased it as 'better living through chemistry'.

Is this normal? I am not sure but its liveable and that's the important part.

You have read this article coping / normal / stress with the title stress. You can bookmark this page URL https://ogbcommunity.blogspot.com/2010/10/what-is-new-normal.html. Thanks!

Angry at cancer?

There are supposedly five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. It is the process we go through when faced with a 'bad' thing - a death, a yucky medical diagnosis, or other trauma. I know I went through something like this.

Anyway, I recently experienced two events which made me think about this. The first one is I was with a few other cancer people and one of them said she was so angry about cancer and another agreed. I thought this was pretty shocking since I know both were diagnosed several years before me. Which means they have been angry for a long time.

Then a few days later I met a woman who said she had lots of friends who had had cancer and some of them were very angry about it which was upsetting to her. She was coping and doing okay and into the acceptance stage and all these others were just angry and it made it harder for her.

Anger is a nasty emotion. It creates negativity and stress - neither of which do much for quality of life. I think the one thing I learned the first time I had cancer is that I wasted a lot of time being upset about it. The second time I decided I was going to take care of me - first and foremost. It took time to work through it and cope with the roller coaster it brings but I think I am doing okay.

Its all a matter of attitude. I basically think I was lucky enough to get cancer twice - any other way of thinking is just stressful. But I also consider cancer the gift that keeps on giving. It is my way of accepting what I am living with.

But people with anger are just making themselves miserable. They are not coping and accepting. They are still fighting and exhausting themselves. Anger is a waste of energy. No cancer is not fun and it can be fatal. But it isn't always and we need to appreciate that we are still here.

You have read this article emotions / stress with the title stress. You can bookmark this page URL https://ogbcommunity.blogspot.com/2010/09/angry-at-cancer.html. Thanks!

Medication only works if you take it

Yesterday I had a long, stressful, tiring day. Then when I finally got home after 8 pm I realized the cause. I forgot to take my anti depressants. Oh, and my back was hurting. Well I forgot to take my pain pills. And I forgot to do my damn exercises. No wonder. Medication only works if you take it. I need to remember this.

I need to remember lots of things. I need to buy flour if I want to make bread - I finally remembered to buy yeast after about a month. I need to remember to make an appointment for the car to have an oil change. I need to remember some other things I forgot and therefore can't remember...

Today I am off to work and will be home in time for dinner. The past two nights I have had meetings which have made my days too long, tiring me out. I hope to have time to go for a walk today as well.

I need a brain sometimes.

You have read this article stress / tired with the title stress. You can bookmark this page URL https://ogbcommunity.blogspot.com/2010/09/medication-only-works-if-you-take-it.html. Thanks!

Struggling and juggling or juggling and struggling

So I am having a hectic few weeks. I am still feeling back logged from my last vacation and am about to leave on another vacation. I basically have too much to do between my two vacations. Isn't there a rule that for every week you are on vacation you need two weeks before and two weeks after to recover? I don't know but I am feeling the stress.

Like a normal person, I have job stress, pet stress, packing and planning stress. Both my jobs have HUGE deadlines to be done before we leave. Why both jobs at once? Because that's some stupid Murphy's law rule.

Next our cat has not been himself. He was my chemo buddy - and any other day when all I can do is sit there in a daze of chemo drugs or pain drugs and zone on the couch. He hangs out with me. He has liked me since the day we met because I made sure his diet contained all the foods he likes - not just the yucky dried food my husband used to feed him before I came along and messed up (improved) their lives. He has been 'off his feed' as they say. It turns out his bad gums (not bad teeth - he needs to floss) are red and sore and caused all sorts of ulcers in his mouth so we get the honor (of a twice daily battle) to insert one eye dropper of antibiotic in between his clenched jaws for the next week or so. After 2 doses he is already better.

Finally, we have to figure out what to take on vacation - what we can do vs. what we want to do taking health issues into consideration. How to carry luggage - or how my husband will carry the luggage and I will carry my knitting and my little purse?

Then there are the health issues causing stress. I have visit to the pain doctor stress on Tuesday, followed by visit to the oncologist stress on Wednesday and finally dentist cleaning stress (I hate the dentist - not the person the procedure) on Thursday. Is the pain doctor going to give me more needles or more tests? What about the oncologist - what if she finds something? There is always that option with an oncologist and when they find something its never good. An hour of having someone pick at my teeth with a sharp metal thing is not high on my list of fun things to do. I am also getting my hair cut on Tuesday and am running a meeting Wednesday night.

Oh and today my husband has the day off and wants to do fun things but I have all these pressures leaning on me. I will compromise. We went for a walk. I made him breakfast. We will go pick up some stuff I need for one of my deadlines. I will kick his butt (I hope) in mini golf and stop at the library on the way home. Then I will get some work done toward my deadline as the weather goes down hill and the hurricane breezes on by.

I am struggling to juggle or juggling in a struggle. I don't know which but I have too many balls in the air for the next week. Then I want to go on vacation and be lazy and admire the scenery and enjoy time with my husband.

You have read this article stress with the title stress. You can bookmark this page URL https://ogbcommunity.blogspot.com/2010/09/struggling-and-juggling-or-juggling-and.html. Thanks!

I am not sure how this happened

I forgot about my upcoming radiation oncologist appointment. I mean I knew it was coming but thought it was a few more weeks away. I thought I had more time before worrying about it. You can't visit an oncologist without worrying. You know you are in trouble when you make that first oncologist appointment.

I actually have two oncologists - one radiation and one medical (chemo) oncologist. I'll see my medical oncologist in a few weeks. This is my annual follow up with my radiation oncologist. I think I see her for five years or so after treatment ended to make sure there are not any long term side effects. She is a very nice Russian woman with a long hard to pronounce name so she is called Dr. G by most people. We often compare shoes in addition to talk about how I am doing. But how did I forget about this?

1. Maybe I am less stressed by the cancer business than in the past. Well that is an option and partly may be the cause.
2. I have no brain and just completely forgot about it. This is a definite option.
3. I was ignoring it and thought I had weeks to go. This is definitely part of this as well.

I am going for mostly 2 with a little bit of 1 and 3 in the mix. But now I have to get my little list of questions for her together. Basically it will be a bit of an exam followed by lots of questions. I need to bring her up to date on my other issues - include my lovely, ongoing thyroid adventures (that I am definitely ignoring).

Well today the rain has finally stopped and I am very optimistic that my garden will burst into bloom. We barely had rain for 2.5 months - one night of showers since early June - and my dahlias are very late with other flowers gone dormant for a while. But three days and more than five inches of rain later, it has turned green all over again. I am not able to stay home until my flowers bloom but must go to work all day.

You have read this article brainless / doctor appointments / stress with the title stress. You can bookmark this page URL https://ogbcommunity.blogspot.com/2010/08/i-am-not-sure-how-this-happened.html. Thanks!